Batman L Superman: The Dawn of Bromance

Recently I went to see the much awaited Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice. I kept waiting for someone to turn on the lights so I could see what was going on with in the movie. I kept waiting for the familiar triumphant fanfare to announce Superman's rise to victory and his transcendence as the Man of Steel. I kept waiting for the familiar thrill as Batman finally assembled the necessary bat-weapons to defeat the on coming threat. What I got was darkness, no fanfare of victory, a Batman misguidedly trying to kill the good and a lingering malaise reminiscent of Good Friday. I could only hope that Sunday's a'comin. Hollywood couldn't just take these icons of truth and justice and leave them as jaded and cynical parodies of their true selves. They just couldn't. It was The Last Temptation of Christ all over again. So in good evangelical style, to reassure myself that all was right in heaven and earth, I decided to go back to the text, not the apocryphal tales spun by the merchants of revisionism in recent decades, but the original meeting of the 'The World's Finest' by writer Edmond Hamilton and artist Curt Swan.

It was May-June 1952. Harry S Truman was in his last term as U.S. President and the Korean War was moving into its third and final year. The University of Tennessee admitted its first Afro-American student and Queen Elizabeth II was crowned Queen of the United Kingdom and its Commonwealth. In the world of letters, Wernher von Braun begins his series of articles laying the foundation for the up coming space race and in Superman no. 76, the Man of Steel meets the Caped Crusader for the first time.

In Gotham City, Batman's war on crime has been so successful that he finds the time to take a well earned rest. Over in Metropolis, Superman has put the finishing touches on the city's new Hall of Learning and has finally reached the start of his scheduled vacation. And there is no better way for two weary crime fighters to unwind than in the relaxing atmosphere of a luxury cruise ship. 

On a cruise anything can happen. Regular routines and relationships are left behind and new ones are formed. With Robin and Jimmy Olsen out of the picture, Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne find themselves sharing a cabin, and the scene is set for one of the greatest bromances in history to flourish. When a dockside Lois is caught in the flames of a fiery jewel heist, both heroes jump to her rescue only to catch each other in their cabin changing into their super-alter egos. Between these two men, a bond of trust immediately begins to grow,  seeking to solve the mystery of the jewel heist together. Though not all is smooth sailing for this new super couple. One thing that can often threaten a budding bromance is the presence of an attractive woman. Instead of staying on shore, Lois Lane has also joined the cruise in pursuit of the unknown jewel thief and jealousies flare as she over looks the Man of Steel for the tall dark and mysterious Batman. Though this rift in their relationship doesn't last long once the crook is captured. When the ship finally return to shore, the beautiful Miss Lane turns cougar, finally choosing the Boy Wonder as her next dinner date. The bromance is safe and the future of this occasional crime fighting partnership is assured. Thus endeth the lesson.

As I closed the holy text, I reflected on the apocryphal Batman V Superman movie once again. Gone is the mutual respect and camaraderie, as the ageing Batman decides that his only recourse against this seemingly all powerful, bat-critical, new kid alien on the block, is to impale him on his long glowing kryptonite spear. It is then that Superman seemingly mentions Batman's Mum. How low could things go? Gone was the bromance, replaced by beef cake distrust and macho rivalry, shot down by an exploding kryptonite bat-bullet and talk of Mums. Where had the love gone? 

One thing that can always heal a broken bromance is the persuasive voice of a beautiful woman or, in this case, a trinity; the Mother, the Daughter-in-law and the Spirit of Truth. As the two titans descend into mortal combat, it is Martha Kent, Lois Lane and Wonder Woman that intercede and help the rivals to see each other for who they truly are, muscly men in capes who stand for truth, justice and beating up the criminally insane. Before the movie eventually gets to the business end, the bromance is back, with the Dark Knight a bonafide super-fan and the Man of Steel a true bat-liever. This bromance was not man-love at first sight, but one forged in battle and birthed from some heavy duty man wrestling.

Now I understand that in reality this movie was a mash up of two extremely grim comic series, 1986's The Dark Knight Returns and 1992's The Death of Superman, hiding behind a deliberately sensationalist Hollywood title (which makes as much sense as Luke Skywalker V Han Solo to the uninitiated in the ways of the DC dark side) but it is also presented as a launch pad for a Justice League movie series. Please may the heresy cease, the grace and mercy flow, the bromance flourish and the agro saved for the theatrically psychotic, lest I be forced to pull out my Super Friends DVD's to remember when superheroes were a celebration of hope rather than a lament over society's lost innocence. It's Friday but hopefully, Sunday's a'comin. Amen